How does that old saying go? They don't know their pierced ears from holes in the walls? Well ... something like that. But here's the thing of it ... when it comes to pierced ears ... the occidentals truly do not know their lobes from their holes in the walls.

You're at a party. You're tired of the mundane chic element that pervades the pseudo elite that attend these things. You want to show them a thing or two about a thing or two. You ponder as to just what it would take to strike the senses ... to knock them off their snobbish perches? Earrings? Yes. But that and more. And so you hunt and find a pair. Gorgeous beyond belief ... with only one little drawback. They won't fit into the tiny holes created by the ear-piercing guy.

You do some research as to just what it would take to enlarge those holes a tad. And you find the answer. And here it is.

You learn that in certain parts of the world a woman's wealth and power was conspicuously visible and in direct proportion to the size of her earrings and her beauty was enhanced  by the size of her elongated ear lobes. Size ... I tend to think ... crosses all delimitations ... no?

So here's how it was done. When they are young the lobes are "bored" through and the holes then gradually stretched daily by placing items of larger and larger dimensions in order to achieve ultimate beauty. The ideal size would be for the ear-lobe to hold a ring the size of a small saucer. There is a story told of ultimate elegance in which a woman had her lobes stretched to the point where another individual would attempt to slip his hand and arm through the aperture. Ye gads man ... is there no end in one's quest for seductive objectives?

And then you fall upon the technique. Leaves of palm are tightly rolled into cylinders and inserted into the lobe-holes ... gradually increased in girth till the desired opening has been achieved to your satisfaction. These leaves are moistened after insertion ... the wetness causing them to expand ... speeding up the process in gradual and gentle dilation. Sometimes sticks from the branches of the 'neem' trees were also used as a natural anesthetic and antibiotic properties of the tree also aided and facilitated the process. Often this was all begun when the girl was only a few days old ... but if the spirit is willing ... age should be no boundary I always say.

The practice crossed all social borders from the lower castes to the highest princesses who ... when running races in the royal gardens ... used to hold tightly on to the heavy ornaments dangling from their ears lest the  swinging ornamental weights should tear asunder the now flimsy lobe filaments.

So ... you want to stand out at that party? Hmm? Then go. You know how now. Stretch those little lobettes and make them the size that justifies your position in life. And if some guy comes along and leans over and whispers in your now enhanced ear ... and asks you to take off your earring ... he wants to slip his arm through your lobe ... what the hell ... let him I say ... and give him the pleasure he so earnestly yearns for.

And so now here they are ... represented on our pages ... a gigantic pair of earrings that will fit into a gigantic pair of ear lobes.