Ants, Camels, and Gold

Yeah. Sure. Give me a break. Benjamin Benjamin. What are you trying to tell us?...that there's a connection between ants and camels and gold? What do you think...we were born yesterday? Okay okay. We'll listen. But only out of loyalty...for old times sake. So go ahead. Give us your spiel. Let's see what you've got to say.

Heh heh. All right folks. It goes like this. Since that very first moment that gold was discovered in some gilded lagoon deep in a misty past, men have dreamed of the Gold Eden, the Peter Pan land for gold zealots, a land where the trees and flowers and antelopes were made entirely of that wondrous yellow metal.

Different cultures and different times had different names for this mythical spot on earth. The ancient Egyptians called it Punt and located it somewhere in Africa. In the bible the place was called Ophir, and it had no specific location. To the Greeks it was Golden Chersonese and was in the environs of Malacca.

In medieval times however, this land of milk and honey and gold gold gold was India...a place everyone knew was situated precariously on the very edge of the world. The world at that time was shaped somewhat like a large Compact Disc and had nothing to do with the India we know today. Few folks had ever visited the place...distances were great... cars had not yet been invented...and airplane fuel was quite costly. So the stories that came back on ships bearing spices from this ancient land were based of factual accounts told by authors who had never been there. What can I tell you. Here's one of the factual reports as told by a Greek historian who had never been to the edge of the world.

The inhabitants of this distant land called India culled their precious gold dust in the following manner. I call attention to you prospector types who still think panning for gold is the way to go. In the eastern part of this land was a great desert where, believe it or not, great ants lived. These ants were huge as insects go. They were smaller than dogs, though larger than foxes. Now we all know how industrious ants can be, and so, while building their subterranean apartment complexes, they cast up the sand which was excavated in order to make room for duplex ant dwellings. And of course, along with all this upchucked sand, was upchucked gold.

Question was...how to get this gold into your greedy little hands. Okay. Here's how: The Indians would go to these ant sites with three camels-- two males and one female--and an extra horse. As soon as they got to the suburban developments of Ant-Village, they quickly packed their sacks with as much gold-filled sand they could lay their hands on, and left. The ants however, were jealous guardians of their gold, and, since they had the uncanny ability to smell the thieves who absconded with their precious metal, they went after them.

And the race was on. Everyone knew the ants were the fastest animals around in them thar days. But the Indians were no dummy-heads. They released their male camels--who were slower runners than the females-- and let them fall victim to the ants, who loved rare camel-steak. And the female camel, who can run faster than the wind herself, would hightail it out of there--dragging the pack-horse behind her--in order to get home to her little baby camel who was waiting for her. And that, my friends, is how the ancients Indians, who lived on the edge of the world, stole Gold...from the Ants...with their Camels. True story. So help me.

Return to menu

Return to Home Page